Aberrant Prose

Paris has no idea

Paris happened to be in the living room this morning when deer walked into the front yard—three of them, two adults and one fawn. Of course she started barking her head off. Of course they ran—in the direction of the road, over the berm and INTO the road. “On no!” I cried, “Not the road!”

Thump! I knew exactly what that sound was. A car screeched and came to a stop. I ran out to see one of the deer off to the side of the road, his back legs completely crumpled, struggling to get up.

The driver who was hit pulled out his cell phone and called animal control and apparently the police. His windshield was shattered. A group of neighbors gathered. Within five minutes a cop arrived. The deer by then was lying on the ground looking around with fear in his eyes. He could not get up.

The cop made some calls. About ten minutes later we heard a gun shot.

Paris has no idea the commotion she caused and the tears she brought.

Really? A good citizen?

Yes. Our puppy is actually growing up and according to AKC and our local dog-training club, Dakota is now a Canine Good Citizen. This week she received her CGC certification! She sure surprised me since we missed last week’s class and the week before she was bouncing off the walls not paying any attention to the teacher because she knew we were getting ready to go somewhere. Not only that I didn’t work with her since arriving home from Oregon (like I ever do).

CGC certification means accepting a friendly stranger, sitting politely for petting, good behavior while being groomed and examined, walking nicely on a loose lead, walking nicely through a crowd, doing a sit and down and a stay in place on command, coming when called, not overreacting to distractions, behaving politely around another dog, and being left with a trusted person for three minutes without over stressing.

Did she finally mature enough to settle down to do everything right or since I figured there was no way she was going to get her CGC certification this week anyway, I relaxed enough to make her more calm than usual?

I don’t know what happened but I am sure pleased whatever it was it did. I wasn’t looking forward to putting her through another CGC class.

This is the 2nd seven-week CGC class she and I have attended. The first time through she failed two tests out of the required ten that must be passed: walking on a loose lead, and reacting to another dog. This time she passed all ten tests!

Now I can sign her up for rally classes.

This Year's Reunion Button is a Winner!

Badge-A-Minit is my source for parts to make our annual reunion buttons and I am on their email list. Just before the Oregon reunion last month they sent me an email for a sale they were having which included an invitation to enter their July button contest and a chance to win a $100 gift certificate. “Why not?” I asked myself.

This morning I received an email from Badge-A-Minit announcing the Oregon reunion troll button was selected as THE Hot Button for the month of July!

The button is now featured on the Badge-A-Minit site under “Hot Button Contest” and will be featured in an email to customers plus it may also be featured in their catalog!

Ultimate Family Reunion

Last Wednesday we returned from Oregon having gone to one of the most far out family reunions ever. There were a total of 130 people coming from everywhere set up in RVs and tents all over the Ellingson Ranch property, some tents tucked away on the edge of the woods, others in the yards of the four homes on the ranch.

There were cows on the ranch to feed, huge greenhouses to wander through, a creek on the ranch to hunt for crawdads or to catch fish, deep woods to seek elk droppings in pursuit of items to collect for a very challenging scavenger hunt, a volleyball court, a pole barn to dine, contra dance and play poker in and warm afternoons to join in well-organized games in an immense freshly, mowed field.

The organization and planning behind this reunion was absolutely phenomenal!

Activities and events were ongoing from Friday afternoon until Monday afternoon complete with meals served buffet style in the pole barn (aka the pavilion) or at a lake where we all gathered on Monday to canoe, kayak, swim and sand board on a humongous sand dune.

And there is more. Tee shirts, bookmarks, and water bottles all embellished with the ranch reunion logo were available to anyone who wanted them. (I also made Gray PEAR buttons for people to wear).

Well-organized games on Saturday included the wearing of colorful team member bandannas in red, green, yellow, blue, purple and teal by six different teams. There was the Scavenger Hunt in the morning. In the afternoon games consisted of Walk the Plank, a Cracker and Cheese Relay, Pass Water Down the Line, a Water Balloon Toss and a Frisbee Toss. There were dozens and dozens of Frisbees, one for each person interested in playing the Frisbee toss game!

Getting to and from the reunion was also a trip:
The previous Wednesday, on July 23rd, Tim, Kathy, Rylan, Aubrey, and Sadie drove up from Orange County; and on the way picked up a 26 foot RV in south Sacramento already reserved for us to rent. They rendezvoused with us at Chris’ house. That same night, leaving Dakota to stay with Chris, the eight of us (this includes Sadie and Paris) piled into a very packed RV and headed to a campsite in Northern California arriving at one o’clock the next morning.

We left this first campsite immediately the next morning. Except for the beautiful trees and fauna it was basically a site without anything of real interest to do. The second one at Loon Lake was much too commercial for our taste so we left that one right away too. This turned out to be a good thing. We were able to arrive at the ranch early enough to score one of three RV hook ups available!

Robert and I then set up a tent essentially turning the RV over to the Pines during our stay at the ranch. Thank goodness we decided to go the RV route because as originally planned it would have been one tough challenge for Kathy and Tim and their little ones (especially with Aubrey) to be in a tent.

Renting the RV was the semblance of a home away from home (cramped as it was). It provided us room to bring food and extras we could not have done if we had driven in separate vehicles. It also allowed Tim and Robert to share the driving and it saved on potty stops for Rylan!

We took a huge number of pictures to detail and highlight our adventure. Look for them, complete with captions, in our Kodak Gallery!

Kathy turning three

Since it is Kathy’s birthday today and Rylan’s third birthday tomorrow I decided it would be fun to pull out my diary and see what I had to say about the day Kathy turned three:

July 3, 1978
Monday

Kathy was quite aware of it being her birthday today when she woke at 10:00. We had already had breakfast when she got up, which were pancakes. When she came downstairs Robert was baking her a cake, Devil’s Food.

I got her some toast and peaches. Then after she ate I tried her dress on for the hem, and then dressed her so she could go outside and play, and got the hem sewn up.

Robert did some tarring under the old shingles and got the skylight put in today.

After I got the dress finished, Chris helped me make some party hats out of construction paper then Kathy went with me to buy some plates & napkins and a birthday card for her.

The day went fast, we had lunch & then Robert shaped the cake into a monster inspired from a monster Chris drew off Captain Cosmic awhile back. While he was frosting it I baked some zucchini bread.

All of a sudden it was time to get dinner. I blew up all the balloons first & threw them up into the crepe paper net, which turned out pretty good.

Dinner was shrimp Italiano with zucchini. We barely finished before our guests began to arrive. Just as soon as Kathy said she was finished I took her into the bathroom and took out all the curlers I had put in about 1:00.

After getting her hair combed & her dress on she looked very, very pretty. Like a southern belle.

Soon the house was full of people, Jan and Pam too. Grandma Helen didn’t come; she was too worn out from having just arrived home from Disneyland.

Teshia came too. All the kids were playing outside with about half the grown ups outside too when it was time for Kathy to open presents.

She tore right into them. Robert helped her with the ceremony. He said he had a hard time keeping up with her.

She got a Barbie doll & clothes from Great Grandma & Grandpa Stoner, a Nerf ball from Donald & Arloine, a horse from Kim, a wind-up dog & doll outfit from Gary, a top & pants from Carol & Morgan (Carol had just sewn them up today & also Stephanie was wearing matching pants she had sewn up today), a Donald Duck Hoppity Hop and of course the Sit and Spin from us. She didn’t realize what it was when she opened it because it was boxed but as soon as Robert assembled it she wasted no time getting on it. Pretty soon Teshia joined her. Then Stephanie. It was a hit.

Then she put her three candles in her monster cake, everyone sang to her, which she got a kick out of, then she blew out the candles.

After everyone was about done with their ice cream & cake Chris knocked the balloons out of the net & there was a free-for-all, Kathy & Stephanie went wild, screaming & hitting the balloons as they ran around.

About 9:30 everyone began to disperse. Chris & Kathy played with her new Barbie doll until we put them to bed.

Forgot to include what Grandma Helen gave Kathy, she brought a cup & two small figures of Pluto and Donald Duck back from Disneyland for her.

After the kids were in bed we cleaned up the mess & went to bed about 11:00.

Who does this coat belong to?

Robert and I did a total wipe out today. Thanks to United Cerebral Palsy announcing a curbside clothes drive we totally went through our closets this afternoon and took everything out we didn’t need and even the things we thought we needed but decided since we haven’t worn or used them in over two years we probably didn’t really.

Counting all the empty hangers that were left I’d say I threw out donated at least sixty tops, pants, skirts, dresses and blouses. There were probably another thirty items that I had stored thrown in the closet shelves and piled in neat stacks scattered on the closet floor that I also decided to donate. Plus Robert donated his coats, pants and shirts as if he were in competition with me. Between the two of us, there is so much stuff we will be setting out two large boxfuls and, I am sure, four or more very full garbage bags tomorrow morning for pickup!

If there was anything we didn’t recognize like duds Chris or Kathy have left here and never took home over the years, out they went. Except for this coat. It looked very familiar so I am holding onto it.

Apricot picking injury

This time of year we harvest very delicious apricots from our field. Robert was doing just that late yesterday.

Around four o’clock he came into the house holding his right hand, his little finger wrapped in a bloody paper towel and asked me if I knew the last time he had had a tetanus shot.

Why would he need a tetanus shot if he was just picking apricots?

Well, to pick apricots, you have to have a (tall) ladder. Having a ladder means you are going to climb high. The apricots he was after were at the very height of the tree. The ladder was next to the fence. He was wearing loose shoes. Reaching for apricots using both hands, he lost his footing and fell—right toward the fence. The fence is covered in rusty barbed wire.

Although he managed to keep from landing on the fence (an amazing feat he tells me) he still threw his right hand out to break his fall, and in so doing, his finger was jabbed by a barb.

I had to make a call to the doctor for him because he was bleeding too much. The doctor wasn’t able to see him until this morning. She told him yes, it was a very good idea to get a tetanus shot, that rusty barbed wire is a prime conveyor for tetanus. She thoroughly cleaned out his wound telling him he had hit an artery and that if she had been able to see him yesterday she would have also stitched the gash.

Although this pales in comparison, this is one more out-of-the-ordinary incident to add to Robert’s list.

Hanging clothes out to dry all for a staple

Handyman Robert pulled our dryer apart this morning. His quest: to search for the cause of a strange harsh swishing noise we heard last weekend just as a second to last load of clothes finished drying.

Fighting the urge to call a repairman, he reluctantly took the front off, inspected the easy to access areas with his flashlight and found nothing but a lot of dirt and dust. He sighed and told me, “Looks like I am just going to have to totally dismantle everything. This could take awhile.”

Within a few minutes he had the vent trap and inner door dismantled and instantly located the source of the noise. “Okay, it’s my fault,” he told me as he showed me a bent up staple. He had forgotten to remove it from his pocket before throwing his pants into the hamper last week!

Sure glad he didn’t call a repairman for something so small!

Match amiss

Our first fun agility match with Paris yesterday turned out to be quite the debacle. Sure enough she decided she would much rather run out of the ring and sniff the grounds than run the course. The worse part was, once she left the ring, she would not come back immediately when I called her. I had to yell, “come” several times before she decided she was ready to return. The whole being outdoors in an area she had never seen before was just too stimulating. Her nose got the better of her (and me).

I did enter her in all six runs I signed on for and even one game. Before the runs opened, there was a musical warm up. Up to one hundred dogs and their handlers gathered in a grassy area to walk dogs left, right, forward, back and about-turns all to music. I didn’t keep Paris in the group long. I could see right away it was stressing her when other dogs and handlers kept bumping into us.

After the warm up we did the tunnel challenge, one of three games. I had tickets for the other two games but they were send to table and send to weave pole challenges, which I knew for sure Paris wouldn’t do. I decided the tunnel challenge would be a nice intro for her to get into a running mode. It proved to be a preview of how she was going to handle the rest of the day: she ran away a number of times before finally figuring out she was suppose to keep running in a circle. The goal of the game was to run through a tunnel, over a jump, through a second tunnel, over a second jump and repeat this going around in a circle until the steward blew a whistle. If the steward had been scoring, Paris would have received a score of 3 out of 10—that is how poorly she did.

I then ran her in the jumpers ring, which consisted of a variety of jumps and included two tunnels. Out of all the runs we entered, she actually did this one the best even though she ran off course several times. Again it wasn’t until the very end she figured out what was expected of her.

The next ring, “touch and go,” was a total disaster. This one consisted of tunnels, one walk and one A-Frame, all favorite obstacles for her. I really thought she would do well. Wrong! She just had no interest in anything and kept running out of the ring. The steward yelled at me over and over telling us we were done. I just ignored him and coaxed Paris back on course until about the fifth time she ran off. That is when I decided she and I were done. I was so frustrated I was ready to call it quits for the day.

Instead Robert and I decided a break would help. We put Paris in her soft crate. She was pretty worn out both from running and from stress and easily took a nap. We then ate the sandwiches we brought.

After the break I was ready to try Paris in the jumpers ring again. I decided to run her with her leash on this time. That worked to keep her from running off and she cooperated quite well. The problem was the tunnels. She lost her momentum because her leash dragged behind her through the tunnel. She didn’t like that at all! We also knocked one jump over because the leash got caught on an edge.

So much for the leash—the next time I ran her I tried using treats, something I didn’t realize was allowed until I saw other people using them. Turns out the treats, even though they were a favorite, didn’t make any difference anyway. Running off to smell the grass was much more interesting than the special treats I brought.

Still having tickets for two more runs I decided I would run her in the touch and go ring one more time. This time I grabbed her as she came out or off of each obstacle and guided her to the next obstacle. She only had the opportunity to run off at the very end and of course she did.

By the time we finished this fifth run stewards had run in and changed the jumpers ring to an excellent level ring. I had one ticket left and decided what the heck, even if she only does a few obstacles the experience would be good for both of us. After I walked it I decided it was probably too hard to expect her to do it. When I told Robert this he said he had already signed us up!

So off we were again. The first thing she does is to refuse to go over the first jump and runs out of the ring! I retrieve her and get her to go over the first jump. She then goes over three obstacles, skips the fourth, goes over another and is on her way to the weave poles. I really hoped she would actually weave. Nope. She ran right around them. I knew that was the end of trying to get her to run the entire course so I brought her around and got her to do the second to last obstacle, the A-Frame, which she did enthusiastically. When she came down the other side for the contact she smelled leftover scent from treats someone had thrown on the ground. She had to stop and sniff. So much for going over the final jump for a nice finish! Earlier I had seen the handler who had thrown those treats on the ground and thought, “How inconsiderate is that? Why doesn’t she feed the treats directly to her dog like everyone else?”

I was exhausted after that final run, a lot of my tiredness came from dealing with such a stinker. Even though I expected Paris to wander I did not expect her to be so defiant. On the positive side, when we were walking around, she did walk in heel position most of the time and waited patiently by sitting or laying down when we were in line waiting our turn. She was also very sweet to people and behaved well around other dogs.

On another note, we enjoyed seeing and talking to Debbie, (wife of Robert’s cousin, David)! She was in charge of the raffle. When we first arrived I spotted her and immediately headed her way to say hello. She was totally caught off guard and did not know who we were at first because, like she said, we were out of our element. It was fun to see her in her element and how much fun she was having running the raffle.

On yet another note, while I was waiting in line or running in a ring, Robert was busy shooting pictures. Not just of Paris and I—one of the event organizers saw him with a camera and asked him to help out by taking pictures of the event!

All in all our day was quite the experience for Robert, Paris and I. It is obvious Paris and I are still a long ways from entering a real competition. After arriving home, all three of us took a nap even though Dakota, who didn’t get to go this time, wanted to play.

Graduation, trialing,
trucks, bankruptcy and pills

First off, congratulations to Melissa! She is graduating from high school this Friday!
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I bit the bullet. I entered Paris in her first agility match in Rohnert Park this coming Saturday. I have no idea how she will do. Well, actually I do. She will refuse to go over the first jump and if I do convince her to go over it she will decide to run ahead of me and run the course the way she wants to run it. When she sees a tunnel she will head straight to it even if it is not the next obstacle on the course. If she does a sit or down on the pause table and sees she isn’t getting a treat for doing it right (since no treats will be allowed) she will say the heck with it and run off course to chase a scent (because, she will tell me later, she is a hunting dog after all).

Since this event in Rohnert Park is a fun match it doesn’t really matter if she doesn’t do everything right. I just hope she does well enough to run all six matches I signed her up for, well okay at least four of them. Actually I will be happy if she does two. All right, the truth is, I will be elated if she does one! The main mission this time around is to expose her to the world of trialing so it really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter. It REALLY…
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Gary now has a new truck. Last Thursday Robert drove his Mom and Gary to Carmel to pick it up. Gary’s previous truck (SUV) bit the dust the end of May. The timing belt broke and ruined the engine. This all happened when Gary and Fely were on their way home from Benicia. The two of them had to walk the rest of the way to Watsonville. They didn’t get home until two in the morning!
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Last week we received notice of a bankruptcy filing from the City of Vallejo. Why would this mean anything to us? Because we just finished designing and printing Vallejo’s water quality reports and billed them several thousand dollars. We knew going in that Vallejo was talking about filing bankruptcy. However, our contact at the water department assured me we would be paid, that the money would come from different and unrelated funds. Just the same, the notice made us very anxious. We even received a call from an attorney offering to buy our debt. Happy to say the check arrived in the mail a couple of days ago. Whew! We were somersaulting in the air when it came!
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I went in for a physical yesterday, you know that annual exam we are all supposed to do when we get older. Except apparently I don’t really know what annual means, the last time I had one was in 2005. When I made the appointment, lab orders were sent to me in the mail. When I saw the doctor she had all my results on hand—very efficient!

I was shocked to find out how much my cholesterol was up. I have always had a good report. Without asking about my diet or my lifestyle, my doctor just listed the reasons as being hereditary and possibly stress. My ratio is now higher than Robert’s (of course he has been working on lowering his for a couple of years now)! My doctor prescribed fish oil capsules, same as what Robert is taking. With so much hype about high cholesterol and over medicating, I am having a hard time dealing with this. Taking fish oil is good for body, mind, and heart though so I guess I will just grin and swallow my medicine.

My blood panel also revealed I am low in Vitamin D. My level is 27.6 and it should be between 50 and 100; my doctor translated this to mean I am mildly insufficient. This is another surprise to me. I always thought I drank plenty of milk and spent enough time outdoors. So along with the fish oil I will also be taking Vitamin D supplements.
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Today Robert went in for his annual exam. His doctor and my doctor (who is married to Robert’s doctor) appear to be in cahoots. He is recommending Robert take vitamin D too (even without an indication of a below normal level)! Did those two just go to a seminar or what? On top of that Robert’s doctor prescribed Robert a much bigger variety of pills than me. Two are for what he has been taking for cholesterol all along but then he added a third one for cholesterol. The others are an array of vitamins and supplements; one of them is for the prevention of Alzheimer’s. I am thinking, since my doctor didn’t prescribe so many pills for me she must have played hooky during the vitamins and supplements portion of the seminar!

What is crazy about Robert getting yet a third pill for his cholesterol is that his ratio is down! He has been working so very hard maintaining a low cholesterol diet. He’s ratio is 2.6, which is only one tenth of a point above the recommended 2.5 (compare that to mine which is 4.0!). Trying to figure out if what the doctors are telling us is right, what we should take and what we can ignore is all quite trying.

After not taking much more than a daily multi-vitamin for years (and being healthy) it appears Robert and I have entered the pill-popping phase of our lives. Are we now at this point because we are senior citizens or are we at the beck and call of an overzealous medical community? I have to wonder how much do all these pills really help and whose pocketbook is getting fatter from the sale of so many pills? I know whose pocketbook will be thinner.
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